The Harsh Reality of Being a Queer Creator
Article and Photography courtesy of Lily-Rose
Growing up, I always knew I wanted to have some kind of platform, and I was determined from a young age to make it happen. My family didn’t really support my dream of having an online presence, especially after I came out. They worried about how I would be criticized. As a black queer influencer, I’ve experienced my fair share of hate. But nothing could prepare me for how much more intense it would get after announcing I was in a same-sex relationship online.
2019 was the year I finally blew up on social media. My videos went from gaining hundreds of likes to thousands. I was gaining 10k followers every day! But with this success came a lot of pressure to post every single day. I was constantly striving to create relatable content for my followers, and even though it became tiring at times, my following continued to grow, so all the hard work paid off.
Lily-Rose & Beth.Brandy
Fast forward a few months, I came out on TikTok, and the support I was receiving tripled. I was so shocked as I was so scared to come out. In fact, I was so scared to come out to my family that I actually came out on TikTok first. At this time, I also experienced an overwhelming amount of hate and judgment, but I didn’t care as the love outweighed the hate for me in this situation.
I was receiving messages from supporters telling me I’d inspired them to come out to their parents, and I was also meeting them at meet and greets, where they’d bring me gifts, break down, and explain how I helped them find themselves. I wish I had someone to look up to when I came out, so to be able to be a role model for so many others was and still is a dream come true.
In 2022, I met my girlfriend on TikTok. She was singing on a livestream, and I couldn’t help but compliment her. We exchanged details and were on our first date just a couple of days later! She also worked in social media, so announcing our relationship to our supporters when we were both ready felt like it would be a breeze. I hate to say it, but boy was I wrong.
Being in an online same-sex relationship is hands down one of the most difficult things I’ve experienced since starting social media. I’ve been working in the social media industry for about five years now and have accumulated 1.9 million followers. And while every single one of them is amazing, unfortunately, there are still quite a few trolls out there.
My partner is an up-and-coming artist who also has a following on social media. We both grew our platforms individually but thought combining them would be an amazing idea as we started featuring in each other’s content a lot more. At the start, it went well! We received a lot of love and support, but the more exposure we got, the more trolls we had to face.
We would host livestreams together, and the more popular we got, the more the trolls saw it as an opportunity to strike. We began to receive a lot of racial and homophobic comments. Anytime we’d try to shut them down, they would multiply. It was almost as if these online bullies got a kick out of us responding. Every time we tried to defend ourselves, they’d get even more creative with their insults. The online safe space that we’ve created was slowly becoming an online nightmare.
We were determined not to allow the haters to destroy the community we created online, so we completely ignored the hate and blocked trolls so they could see we weren’t falling for their trap. They wanted a response from us, to be in the spotlight, and we took that from them. As soon as we started ignoring them more, we began to receive less and less hate.
We still receive hate today, but it’s nowhere near as much as it used to be. Now, when someone comments something negative, our supporters shut it down so quickly, to the extent that the troll leaves. Through this we have been able to grow our online community and also urge them to disregard trolls. We’ve taught them to ignore/block the hate and that they will disappear if you don’t entertain them.
Building an online community has been amazing. Being told we are a safe space for many people suffering from anxiety and depression or people in the LGBTQ+ community who aren’t supported is one of the best feelings ever. We are their voice, and in return, they are our shield. We protect and support each other. We wanted to speak up to remind people of their worth. To empower them and to help anyone who is experiencing cyberbullying online remember that there are ways in which they can safeguard themselves. For anyone who wants to join our safe space, our TikTok handles are @ItsLilyRose and @Beth.Brandy. You’re more than welcome to join the gang!
If you or someone you know is being cyberbullied, here are some resources that might help:
This article was originally published in the 2024 Spring Issue of Las Vegas PRIDE Magazine, and can be read in its original format here.
