Have you ever just felt a little silly leaving your house? Maybe it was because you were wearing something a tad out of your comfort zone? trying a new makeup trend? or just styling your hair a different way? Me personally? I’ve never felt like that. I take every day by storm, walking like a fool into the mundane and terrifying, decorated with layers of paint, a smile drawn on from ear to ear. But how did we get here? From a young clown simply clocking in for a 9-5 to a micro-niche internet celebrity: honestly, I don’t even know.
I attended a trade school for high school, majoring in cosmetology. The original goal was to become an SFX artist for haunted houses, but it ever so shifted to creating monsters for movies. But, as it does, school killed my passion for makeup; it became work rather than art. I was taught bridal, editorial, and basic clean every day, and that’s not what I wanted to do. I took it upon myself to teach myself prosthetics and body paint and began gradually turning myself into the monsters I wanted to make.
With my love for beauty dwindling, I attended college and majored in Political Science; I wanted to “make a difference,” but never found my footing. I was losing passion and needed a new outlet. In January of 2024, I shaved my head in a manic episode, for which, even back then, I was well known for my green styles. So now, with no hair, I needed a new outlet. At the same time, a close friend of mine had begun doing drag, being a king who painted clown faces for his looks. And I was utterly entranced. I figured I have a makeup license, I might as well do some makeup. And with that notion, I walked into my next International Relations class, painted white, lips smeared red. It took some time, but I found a pattern and style for my clown mugs, with great encouragement from the manager of my day job. She told me to use “happier colors and fun shapes” (or else she wouldn’t let me wear it to work). And in turn, the looks became softer, the colors blended sweetly, and the mustache became a staple.
I changed my major to film along the way, inspired to use movies as an outlet to showcase my looks, and every day, every class, I would show up painted like a clown. It didn’t matter if I felt like it or not; I did it to set a precedent for myself; it was for myself, no one else. Being a film major, I had many opportunities to get a gig doing makeup or just being a general PA on a set for a bigger production. But on one of these sets, I met someone who soon would become my greatest inspiration and my closest friend.
My now best friend, Cesar, was quite encouraging of the clown paint, seeing it as a great expression of my character, but he felt I could do more with it. I wasn’t cataloging these looks; I was painting and moving on. Each day, a new face, never two faces alike. But I never took pictures. It was just my daily face that I had become desensitized too. Cesar urged me to start at least taking pictures, using Instagram as a kind of diary. Perhaps I could even start just filming my makeup process, I mean, we were film majors after all. I had access to cameras and microphones, as well as editing software; it would be easy and even good practice for class. So screw it, why not? And I would never be able to thank Cesar enough.
In December of 2024, I started small: quick one-minute videos of me getting into makeup, with the occasional Instagram post showcasing the look I created. I did it before class, edited it on TikTok, and then went about my day; it was never meant to be serious, and I didn’t take it that way. Quick videos of me in my break room at work were all I really had time for…but that’s all they needed. It took one video, an absolute nothing-burger of a video, of me throwing it back in full guiche to a trending audio. And it caught traction: a few dozen views, then a few hundred, then thousands, then millions. It skyrocketed, and so did my socials: first my TikTok, then my Instagram, when I made the jump over and reposted the video to my reels. In the span of weeks, I had gone from a few hundred followers to tens of thousands. So…I kept the bit up; who am I to deny a trick of luck like this? And so I started posting daily, just me in paint at work, at school, never anything crazy, but I think it had an air of reality people liked to see. I was a weirdo being totally unashamed of expressing myself, cause why should I be? The world is burning, and life is too short not to customize your character a bit. In 6 months, I had already hit 100k followers on Instagram. And by November of 2025, I hit 200k and felt comfortable to at least quit my day job. (I graduate in May of 2026; I will stick it out.) And this would be both an amazing and terrifying experience.
My goal since day one of this venture is to inspire others not to care so much, to be who you want to be and act a fool. If you can leave the house looking like a literal clown, the rest of your day will be easy. And in the world we currently live in, we have to take every whimsical thing we can and hold it dear. I hope that if someone sees me or comes across me on their FYP, they will be inspired to wear that shirt they’ve never worn, put that lipstick on today, or dress like a clown and go get lunch. Thank you all for the amazing support and this silly platform you have given me! Be safe, be proud, and GO BE FUN!!!
Find Loki Disturbing online at:
Instagram: lowkey_disturbing
TikTok: @lowkey_disturbing
YouTube: Lowkey_Disturbing
X: lowkeydisturbed
This article was originally published in the 2026 PRIDE Month & Community Issue of Las Vegas PRIDE Magazine, and can be read in its original format here.
