By Sy Bernabei (They/Them)
Executive Director, Gender Justice Nevada

• Don’t assume a couple is heterosexual just because of their gender expression. It could be someone and their trans partner, or both could be trans, gender non-conforming, or non-binary. They may be queer, unlabeled, questioning, or identify as a straight couple. They still deserve space at PRIDE, and assuming their sexuality or gender identity is harmful to them and for the liberation of all of us. Our relationships don’t always define our sexuality, either.

• Don’t assume or gatekeep pronouns. Not all non-binary people use they/them pronouns. Not all cisgender people use binary pronouns. Some people use no, all, or any pronouns. Do a pronouns check and use the ones they use for themselves.

• Don’t out a trans person. If someone is misgendering someone you know, sometimes correcting them is OK. But keep in mind not all trans people are out to everyone. Correcting pronouns may mean you are outing them and endangering their safety. If the trans person is there with you, let them lead. They’ll correct them if they feel they need to. Some of us are misgendered in many spaces and ways, and we don’t always correct it for different reasons. Jumping in to correct someone being misgendering is allyship that could backfire.

• Recognize the difference between gender and sexuality. We all have a gender identity, AND we all have sexual orientations. Sometimes trans folks identify as straight or asexual, or pansexual. Our identities are not intrinsically tied to each other and may confuse you, but those labels are ours and ours alone to determine.

• And lastly: what should you do if you see someone using a bathroom in public that doesn’t seem (to you) to correspond to their gender? It’s pretty simple. You just mind your own fucking business.

Follow us on social media or attend one of our “Trans Ally Trainings” at Gender Justice Nevada to learn how to be a better ally to our gender-diverse community.

• September 20th at 12pm
• October 4th at 10am
• October 19th at 3pm

All trainings will be held at the Gender Justice Nevada office, 900 East Karen Ave #215.

Let’s dismantle the CIS-tem together!

This article was originally published in the 2022 PRIDE Issue of Las Vegas PRIDE Magazine, and can be read in its original format here.